DR. RODRIGUEZ-SIUTS
  • Home
  • About
  • Services
    • Prenatal and Postpartum Therapy
    • Reproductive Mental Health Therapy
    • General Maternal Mental Health
  • Patient Info
    • Patient Forms
    • Rates & Insurance
    • FAQ
    • Useful Therapeutic Apps
    • Patient Portal
  • Blog
  • Contact
  • Home
  • About
  • Services
    • Prenatal and Postpartum Therapy
    • Reproductive Mental Health Therapy
    • General Maternal Mental Health
  • Patient Info
    • Patient Forms
    • Rates & Insurance
    • FAQ
    • Useful Therapeutic Apps
    • Patient Portal
  • Blog
  • Contact
Search

Infertility the second time around

10/5/2020

1 Comment

 
By: Ellen S. Glazer, LICSW| February 4, 2020
Most anyone who has struggled with secondary infertility knows that it is an incredibly lonely experience. You may be blessed with one or two children — possibly more — but struggling to expand or complete your family. Surrounded by families with young children, you find yourself alone and in pain.

If you are a veteran of primary infertility, you may remember strategies you developed for shielding yourself from the pregnancies of others. Not so this second time around: pregnant women and moms with babies and toddlers surround you at preschool.
​
If you had your first child with ease and are new to infertility, you may feel even less equipped to deal with seemingly limitless fecundity. Primary infertility prepared your fellow travelers for the envy, anger, sadness, isolation, and awkwardness it brings. For you these feelings are new, and along with them comes the guilt of secondary infertility: “Why can’t I be happy with the child I have?” Today we’ll focus on ways you can cope with secondary infertility.

The first few steps to coping with secondary infertility

Seek good medical care. If you went through primary infertility, you know the ropes of the world of reproductive medicine. However, if this is all new to you, do not delay in seeking expert help. There is a lot to learn in reproductive medicine. Beginning to understand it may help you feel that you have some control of your situation. Don’t be reluctant to seek a second and even a third opinion — you will learn from each consult, and talking with a few physicians can help land you in the right place.

Try to avoid self-blame. It is tempting to blame yourself. You are a likely target if you feel you waited too long to have a second child, or perhaps blame yourself for not having your first child sooner. If you have two or more children and are struggling to complete your family, you may accuse yourself of greed. Another form of self-blame comes when parents feel they are being punished for not fully appreciating or enjoying the child they have, or worse still, being “bad” parents.

Take charge of the message. Although many people choose to have one child and feel confident with “one and done,” there is often the assumption that a family means two or more children. As a parent of one child, you are likely to frequently encounter the following questions: “Is she your only child?” or “Are you going to have more?”
It helps to figure out a short, direct, and containable message to give anyone who asks about family size. Something like, “We’re hoping to have a larger family, but it’s not been easy for us.” Or “___ is our first child, but we are hoping he/she will have a sibling before too long.”

Additional ways to cope with secondary infertility
​
Try not to focus on age. Many parents think a lot about the spacing of their children. Secondary infertility derails plans for ideal spacing — whatever that may mean to you. My advice to people is blunt: let it go. I remind clients that close or distant relationships with siblings are not defined by spacing. All of us know adults who cherish their sister or brother 10 or 15 years their junior, but argue constantly with the sibling who is within two years of their age.
Finish reading additional ways to cope with second infertility
1 Comment
Dr. Sushmita Mukherjee link
10/17/2020 09:31:14 am

That seems to be a great way to deal with infertility. Infertility is treatable condition these days with the advancement in medical science.

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    Archives

    February 2023
    January 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    October 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    October 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    May 2018
    February 2018
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    May 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    November 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016

    Categories

    All
    4th Trimester
    Anxiety
    Babies
    Baby
    Black Lives Matter
    Black Maternal Mental Health
    Black Motherhood
    Body Image
    Brain Health
    Breakup
    Breastfeeding
    Breast Milk Anitibodies
    Cannabis And Breastfeeding
    Childbirth
    Childhood Anxiety
    Children
    Climate Change
    Cognitive Dissonance
    Collaborative Commuication
    Communication
    Confidence
    Coping
    Coronavirus
    Counseling Scottsdale
    COVID 19
    COVID-19
    COVID 19 Vaccine And Pregnancy
    Depression
    Diversity
    Doom Spiral
    Dr. Rodriguez Siuts
    Dr. Rodriguez-siuts
    Early Relationships
    Easy Dinner Recipes
    Economy
    Emotion
    Empaths
    Empathy
    Essential Oils Safety While Pregnant
    Exercise
    Failure
    Family Moments
    Family Roadtrip
    Fathers
    Fear
    Feeding And Nutrition
    Fertility
    Finland
    Food And Mood
    Frontline Moms
    Gender Inequality
    Goal Setting
    Grief And Loss
    Guided Meditation
    Halloween Kids Crafts
    Happiness
    Happy Couples
    Healing
    Health
    Healthy Foods
    Healthy Gut
    Healthy Pregnancy
    Healthy Relationships
    Improved Mood
    Infant Mental Health
    Infertility
    Inner Peace
    Inspiration
    Kids At Home Art Activities
    Kids Mindfulness Activities
    Listening
    Marriage
    Maternal Mental Health
    Maternal Mental Health Disorders
    Maternal Mental Health Psychologist
    Maternity Costumes
    Meditation
    Meditation For Pregnancy
    Megan Markle
    Men And Postpartum Depression
    Men's Health
    Mental Health
    Mental Health Of Children And Parents
    Mindfullness
    Mindfulness
    Miscarriage
    Mom Guilt
    Mom Shaming
    Motherhood
    Mothers In Crisis
    Motivation
    Newborn
    New Mom
    Nighttime Affirmations
    Nutrition
    Nutrition For The Brain
    Pandemic
    Pandemic Parenting
    Pandemic Pregnancy
    Pandemic Unemployment
    Panic Attacks
    Parental Leave
    Parenting
    Perfectionism
    Performance
    Perimenopause
    Perinatal Anxiety
    Perinatal Depression
    Perinatal Mental Health
    Perinatalmooddisorders
    Personal Stories
    Polycystic Ovary Syndrome
    Positive Affirmations
    Positive Benefits Of Nature
    Positive Habits
    Positive Parenting
    Positive Pregnancy Affirmations
    Positive Self-Affirmations
    Postpartum
    Postpartum Anxiety
    Postpartum Care
    Postpartum Depression
    Postpartum Fitness
    Postpartum Healing
    Postpartum Health
    Postpartum Mental Health
    Postpartum Mood Concerns
    Postpartum OCD
    Postpartum Psychosis
    Postpartum Recovery
    Postpartum Scary Thoughts
    Postpartum Self Care
    Postpartum Self-care
    Postpartum Support
    Postpartum Workouts
    Preemies
    Pregnancy
    Pregnancy Costumes
    Pregnancy Insomnia
    Pregnancy Loss
    Pregnancy Meditation
    Pregnancy Nutrition
    Pregnancy Pillows
    Pregnancy Risks
    Pregnancy Stretches
    Pregnancy Yoga
    Prenatal Care
    Prenatal Depression
    Prenatal Massage
    Prenatal Self Care
    Prenatal Self-care
    Prenatal Workouts
    Prenatal Yoga Bedtime
    Procrastination
    Relationship Advice
    Relationships
    Remedies Pregnancy Gas
    Reproductive Mental Health
    Resiliency
    Sandra Rodriguez Siuts
    Sandra Rodriguez-siuts
    School Anxiety
    Scottsdale Psychologist
    Second Infertility
    Self-care
    Self-care Tips
    Self-esteem
    Setting Boundaries
    Sleep
    Sleep And Pregnancy
    Social Connectedness
    Social Justice
    Stay At Home Orders
    Staying Grounded
    Stillborn
    Stress
    Success
    Suicide
    Surrogacy
    Teaching Kids Manners
    Teen Mental Health
    Therapy
    Therapy Arizona
    Therapy Phoenix
    Therapy Scottsdale
    Time Management Tips
    Traumatic Birth
    Vacation
    Webinar
    Well-behaved Kids
    Wellness
    Women
    Women Losing Jobs
    Women's Health
    Women's Health Psychologist
    Womens Health Psychologist
    Womens Mental Health
    Womens Psychology
    Working Moms
    Workplace
    Youth Sports
    Zulresso

    RSS Feed

Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
​SANDRA RODRIGUEZ-SIUTS, PH.D., LLC 

9590 E Ironwood Square Drive, Suite 210
Scottsdale, AZ 85258
Phone: (480) 473-5411
Fax: (480) 436-6900
© Copyright 2023 Sandra Rodriguez-Siuts, Ph.D. - All Rights Reserved
  • Home
  • About
  • Services
    • Prenatal and Postpartum Therapy
    • Reproductive Mental Health Therapy
    • General Maternal Mental Health
  • Patient Info
    • Patient Forms
    • Rates & Insurance
    • FAQ
    • Useful Therapeutic Apps
    • Patient Portal
  • Blog
  • Contact