By Brooke Borel|April 17, 2020

"The early scenes of “Private Life,” a 2018 Netflix film about a New York City couple who are trying to conceive, present an unsettling scenario for anyone pondering their biological clock: A 40-something woman wakes up after an infertility procedure to find that things can’t progress as planned. Her doctors successfully extracted her eggs — but they also realized that her partner can’t produce any sperm. There might be a fix, but there’s a catch: It’ll cost another $10,000. Oh, and the doctors need the check today.

The scene, of course, is fictional and is meant to draw laughs, but it’s also a good reminder of how unpredictable and costly infertility treatments can be. If you’re thinking about having kids, what’s the best way to achieve that goal without unexpected and costly medical intervention?
For most heterosexual couples, the first step is to try to conceive the traditional way, said Dr. Sherman Silber, M.D., director of the Infertility Center at St. Luke’s Hospital in St. Louis, Mo.: “I recommend, frankly, if they are young and fertile to make sure they have enough sex.”

But intercourse isn’t always a sure-fire route to pregnancy; many couples struggle with infertility because of age, illness or reasons that aren’t yet known to science, said the two fertility doctors and one researcher I spoke to for this guide. Around one in 15 married American couples are infertile, according to the most recent published data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. And there are special considerations for people who are transgender, single or in same-sex relationships.

Then there’s the high cost, which “Private Life” got right: According to the Society for Assisted Reproductive Technology, as well as a fertility benefits expert I interviewed for this guide, treatments may run to thousands or tens of thousands of dollars and aren’t always covered by insurance.

​What to do?"

By David Dodge| April 17, 2020

"This guide was originally on October 11th 2019 in NYT Parenting."

"From the time they began dating as teenagers, Rita and Erikson Magsino, now 39 and 43, talked about the family they hoped to have together one day. Almost immediately after marrying in 2005, they tried to make that dream a reality.

But parenthood would have to wait — Magsino learned she had an aggressive form of endometriosis that made it difficult for her to become pregnant. For over a decade, the couple tried everything to conceive — including fertility drugs and advanced treatments like intrauterine insemination and in vitro fertilization. Twice, Magsino became pregnant, only to miscarry late in the second trimester. “After we lost twins at 20 weeks, we decided enough was enough,” she said. A generation ago, the couple’s attempts to have a biological child most likely would have ended there. Instead, thanks to improvements in reproductive medicine, they welcomed a baby boy into their home in May with the help of a gestational surrogate.

Surrogacy has also created an avenue to biological parenthood for thousands of others who can’t conceive or carry children on their own, such as same-sex couples and single men. As a gay, H.I.V.-positive man, Brian Rosenberg, 54, figured biological fatherhood was forever out of reach. But thanks to surrogacy, and a technique known as “sperm washing,” which prevents H.I.V. transmission, he and his husband, Ferd van Gameren, 59, welcomed twins, biologically related to Rosenberg, in 2010. “It’s still hard to believe,” Rosenberg said. “I thought this was a door that was shut to me.”

Still, would-be parents need to be prepared for a process that is far longer, more expensive and emotional than many people expect — it’s called a “surrogacy journey” for a reason. For this guide, I interviewed the types of experts you can expect to encounter during a surrogacy journey, including two fertility specialists, a lawyer, a psychologist and an agency caseworker."

No, lying flat after sex won't increase your chances of conception. 

By Jen Gunter, MD| April 15, 2020

"​As an ob-gyn, I’ve personally encountered many fertility myths in my office or online — some of them even during my training. Why do they persist? Sex education, particularly about the physiology of reproduction, is typically incomplete and subpar. And when we do talk about fertility and reproduction, we don’t talk about it directly — euphemisms for the uterus, menstruation, the vagina and the vulva are still common, and when you can’t use a word, the implication is that the body part is shameful. And, of course, many myths persist simply because they’re alluringly fantastical, and we’re inclined to believe these tall tales over the stodgy facts. Here are seven fertility myths that need to be forgotten.

1. Phases of the moon affect menstruation 
This is not an uncommon belief-some women even refer to menstruation as their "moon time." The confusion is understandable: The 29.5-day lunar cycle (from new moon to new moon) is very close to the average 28-day menstrual cycle. But studies show no connection between the moon and menses. Moreover, it is hard to envision how a moon-menstruation would be biologically beneficial to human reproduction. 


2. Reproductive hormones need to be ‘in balance’ 
This is a common modern myth in gynecology exam rooms all across North America-and it results in a lot of unnecessary testing of hormone levels. The truth is that, for women of reproductive age, the hormone levels for FSH, LH, estrogen and progesterone change not only day to day, but also often hour to hour. When a women has certain symptoms-for example, an irregular menstrual cycle or infertility-hormone testing may be recommended to make a diagnosis. But in these situations, doctors will look at individual levels in conjunction with symptoms, rather than comparing levels with some mythical "balance." Being "in balance" may sound natural, like a person who is "in tune" with her body. But it is simply not a factual statement, or even a good analogy, for what happens biologically."