"Infertility is difficult to live with. That said, sometimes, we make things harder on ourselves. Not intentionally or consciously, of course. We may not know it can be any other way. Or we just don't realize we're self-sabotaging ourselves.
Here are some things you should stop doing if you are fertility challenged, so you can start living a better, fuller life.
1. Stop Blaming Yourself
Maybe you waited "too long" to start a family. Maybe something foolish you did as a college student has wreaked havoc with your fertility. Maybe you wonder if that year you decided to live on only fast food wasn't the brightest idea.
Or, perhaps you have no idea what could possibly have led to your current fertility woes. But you're sure it's something you could have stopped had you only known better.
You need to stop blaming yourself. Even if you can find a way to somehow make it "your fault," you should still stop blaming yourself. It doesn't help. It just depresses you.
Plus, most cases of infertility are either not preventable or not predictable. You really can't know if you had done something different whether you'd be a Fertile Myrtle or not. Drop the blame, and focus on what's most important now--moving forward and tackling the problem.
2. Stop Waiting for a Miracle
If you have been trying to conceive for more than a year (or more than six months, if you're over 35), and you have not succeeded, it's time to see a doctor. Some couples decide this advice isn't really for them, though. It's for those other people. You know, the infertile ones. They decide to keep trying on their own and pray for a miracle.
Here's the problem with that thinking: There are some causes of infertility that worsen with time. While you pray for your miracle, your chances may be quickly disappearing.
There's nothing wrong with deciding to keep trying and wait on treatment, or even deciding not to pursue fertility treatment in the end. But you shouldn't avoid fertility testing. At least find out what is wrong and what your options may be.
Get checked out, both you and your partner, and confirm that whatever is wrong can wait. Then, if you want, set a "miracle waiting" period. Speak to your doctor about how long they think you can try without losing valuable time.
3. Stop Feeling Hopeless
A diagnosis of infertility can hit a person hard. Sometimes, it's difficult to see past the next couple of days or weeks. You may feel hopeless, certain that you will never conceive or that your life will never be happy.
If you can't conceive a biological child, maybe you can use an embryo donor, egg donor, or sperm donor. If you can't use donor gametes, maybe you can adopt. If you can't adopt, remember that people can live childfree and have happy, normal lives.
To be clear, these other possibilities don't magically make the pain go away. You will need time for grieving and healing from the trauma of infertility.
However, when you start to wonder if you will never have a child, or when you start to think your life is ruined, try as best as you can to hold onto at least a sliver of hope. There is life after infertility. Please remember that.
While it's possible you won't conceive, you'll feel better if you can keep your thoughts focused on the positive possibilities. Low-tech treatments work for many couples. Your chances for success may be better than you think. Speak to your doctor about your particular prognosis.
4. Stop Acting Helpless
Most couples are extremely pro-active in their care. But not everyone realizes they are the decision makers.
To the couples whose doctors tell them they are "too young," despite trying for over a year...
To the couples whose fertility clinics refused to try IVF with their own eggs because their chances aren't great, not realizing that the clinic probably doesn't want to "ruin" their track record with a risk...
To the women whose doctors won't test or treat them until they lose weight, but leave it to them to figure out how exactly to do so...
You are not as helpless as it seems. If the doctor you're seeing refuses to run an evaluation, go find a new doctor. If a clinic turns you down because your chances are "too low," seek out a second opinion.
If your doctor tells you to lose weight, be sure they evaluate and treat any hormonal imbalances that may make losing weight difficult, and ask for a referral to a nutritionist.
Maybe go get a second opinion on whether you really need to lose weight first.
You have so much more power than you realize. Don't be afraid to stand up for yourself.
4. Stop Living in Two-Week Increments
This is a basic one but so common it deserves special mention. When you're trying to conceive, your life can easily fall into two-week increments: the two weeks you wait for ovulation, followed by the two weeks you wait to take a pregnancy test.
The worst part about this is there are no breaks; there's no anxiety-free time when you're anxious about ovulating or anxious about feeling pregnant.
While it's unrealistic to think you'd be able to just drop all the fretting, you should at least try to live beyond the two-week wait craziness. You may need the support of friends, a support group, or a counselor to learn how. But it's possible.
4. Stop Basing Self-Worth on Fertility
Infertility can make you feel worthless. Broken. Ashamed. These are all very common feelings, experienced by men and women who live with infertility.
Before you started trying to conceive, before you ever realized you faced infertility, you probably felt different about yourself—hopefully more positive. You need to remember that the old you is still there. You don't become someone else when you're diagnosed with infertility.
If you were awesome and lovable before infertility, then you're just as awesome and lovable after. If you doubt this, think about what you'd say to a friend who told you they felt ashamed and worthless because of their infertility. You probably wouldn't say to them, "Yep, you're right. You're worthless!" No way.
You know it's not true of a friend, and you need to understand it's also not true of yourself. You are so much more than your fertility."
Written by Matthew Thorpe, MD, PhD and Rachael Link, MS, RD — Medically reviewed by Marney A. White, PhD, MS — Updated on October 27, 2020
"Meditation is the habitual process of training your mind to focus and redirect your thoughts.
The popularity of meditation is increasing as more people discover its many health benefits.
You can use it to increase awareness of yourself and your surroundings. Many people think of it as a way to reduce stress and develop concentration.
People also use the practice to develop other beneficial habits and feelings, such as a positive mood and outlook, self-discipline, healthy sleep patterns, and even increased pain tolerance.
This article reviews 12 health benefits of meditation.
1. Reduces stress
Stress reduction is one of the most common reasons people try meditation.
One review concluded that meditation lives up to its reputation for stress reduction.
Normally, mental and physical stress cause increased levels of the stress hormone cortisol. This produces many of the harmful effects of stress, such as the release of inflammatory chemicals called cytokines.
These effects can disrupt sleep, promote depression and anxiety, increase blood pressure, and contribute to fatigue and cloudy thinking.
In an 8-week study, a meditation style called “mindfulness meditation” reduced the inflammation response caused by stress.
Furthermore, research has shown that meditation may also improve symptoms of stress-related conditions, including irritable bowel syndrome, post-traumatic stress disorder, and fibromyalgia.
2. Controls anxiety
Meditation can reduce stress levels, which translates to less anxiety.
A meta-analysis including nearly 1,300 adults found that meditation may decrease anxiety. Notably, this effect was strongest in those with the highest levels of anxiety.
Also, one study found that 8 weeks of mindfulness meditation helped reduce anxiety symptoms in people with generalized anxiety disorder, along with increasing positive self-statements and improving stress reactivity and coping.
Another study in 47 people with chronic pain found that completing an 8-week meditation program led to noticeable improvements in depression, anxiety, and pain over 1 year.
What’s more, some research suggests that a variety of mindfulness and meditation exercises may reduce anxiety levels.
For example, yoga has been shown to help people reduce anxiety. This is likely due to benefits from both meditative practice and physical activity.
Meditation may also help control job-related anxiety. One study found that employees who used a mindfulness meditation app for 8 weeks experienced improved feelings of well-being and decreased distress and job strain, compared with those in a control group.
3. Promotes emotional health
Some forms of meditation can lead to improved self-image and a more positive outlook on life.
For example, one review of treatments given to more than 3,500 adults found that mindfulness meditation improved symptoms of depression.
Similarly, a review of 18 studies showed that people receiving meditation therapies experienced reduced symptoms of depression, compared with those in a control group.
Another study found that people who completed a meditation exercise experienced fewer negative thoughts in response to viewing negative images, compared with those in a control group.
Furthermore, inflammatory chemicals called cytokines, which are released in response to stress, can affect mood, leading to depression. A review of several studies suggests meditation may also reduce depression by decreasing levels of these inflammatory chemicals."
"This 10 minute mindful meditation will give you the mental clarity and space necessary to ground yourself with beautiful focus and set your day on the perfect track for success and fulfillment."
Medically reviewed by Lynn Starr, RNC-OB — Written by Shannon Conner on September 9, 2015
"Most moms-to-be spend a lot of time worrying about their developing baby. But remember, it’s just as important during the next nine months to tune in to someone else’s cues: your own.
Maybe you’re exceedingly tired. Or thirsty. Or hungry. Maybe you and your growing baby need some quiet time to connect.
Your doctor or midwife may say, “Listen to your body.” But for many of us, that’s followed by, “How?”
Meditation can help you listen to your voice, your body, that small heartbeat — and help you feel refreshed and a bit more focused.
What Is Meditation?
Think of meditation as some quiet time to breathe and connect, be aware of passing thoughts, and to clear the mind.
Some say it’s finding inner peace, learning to let go, and getting in touch with yourself through breath, and through mental focus.
For some of us, it can be as simple as deep, in-and-out breaths in the bathroom stall at work as you try to focus on you, your body, and the baby. Or, you can take a class or retreat to your own special place in the house with pillows, a mat, and total silence.
What Are the Benefits?
Some of the benefits of practicing meditation include:
Moms who have high levels of stress or anxiety during pregnancy are more likely to deliver their babies at preterm or low birth weights.
Birth outcomes like those are a pressing public health issue, especially in the United States. Here, the national rates of preterm birth and low birth weight are 13 and 8 percent, respectively. This is according to a report published in the journal Psychology & Health.
Prenatal stress can also impact fetal development. Studies have shown that it can even affect cognitive, emotional, and physical development in infancy and childhood. All the more reason to squeeze in some meditation time!"
"After the birth, there are oh-so-many ways your body will ache. We asked midwife Tracy Hydeman and other experienced parents for their soothing suggestions.
1. When you’re breastfeeding, massage your breasts to ward off mastitis. You can also use warm compresses or take a hot shower.
2. Get hydrated with natural electrolytes (which help regulate nerves and muscles) by mixing water, sea salt and freshly squeezed orange or lemon juice.
3. Soak your bottom in an Epsom salt bath at least two times a day. Add herbs like comfrey leaf and witch hazel to help tears heal and reduce inflammation.
4. Cabbage leaves are a “fantastic thing for engorged breasts,” says Hydeman. They cup the breasts naturally and relieve inflammation.
5. Eat a beef and barley stew—the beef is good for replenishing your iron, and the barley will help your milk come in.
6. If necessary, book an appointment to see a physiotherapist for pelvic-floor and diastasis recti physio ASAP.
7. That little peri bottle you got from your hospital nurse or midwife? It’s a new mom’s best friend when it comes to keeping things clean down there postpartum. (Any tearing or incisions will make it difficult to wipe after delivery.) Simply fill it with warm water and squirt to cleanse yourself after using the toilet or squirt while peeing to dilute the urine if you have any burning or discomfort.
8. Homemade “padsicles”
– Spritz sanitary pads with water or top with witch hazel. Many moms also swear by adding aloe vera gel and lavender oil.
– Fold up the pad and insert it into a zip-top bag or seal with plastic wrap. Freeze. Place on the perineum for cold comfort.
9. If you have a supportive partner or help at home, take advantage of that by embracing the “babymoon” period. Try to stay in bed for at least 72 hours after the birth.
10. Organize (or ask a friend or family member to organize) a meal train, which is a system in which people can sign up to bring you meals. Don’t be shy about mentioning any food preferences or allergies."
Written by Katey Davidson, MScFN, RD, CPT on February 5, 2020 — Medically reviewed by Natalie Butler, R.D., L.D.
"When you’re feeling down, it can be tempting to turn to food to lift your spirits. However, the sugary, high calorie treats that many people resort to have negative consequences of their own.
Thus, you may wonder whether any healthy foods can improve your mood.
Recently, research on the relationship between nutrition and mental health has been emerging. Yet, it’s important to note that mood can be influenced by many factors, such as stress, environment, poor sleep, genetics, mood disorders, and nutritional deficiencies.
Therefore, it’s difficult to accurately determine whether food can raise your spirits.
Nonetheless, certain foods have been shown to improve overall brain health and certain types of mood disorders.
Here are 9 healthy foods that may boost your mood.
1. Fatty fish
Omega-3 fatty acids are a group of essential fats that you must obtain through your diet because your body can’t produce them on its own.
Fatty fish like salmon and albacore tuna are rich in two types of omega-3s — docosahexaenoic acid (DHA) and eicosapentaenoic acid (EPA) — that are linked to lower levels of depression.
Omega-3s contribute to the fluidity of your brain’s cell membrane and appear to play key roles in brain development and cell signaling.
While research is mixed, one review of clinical trials showed that in some studies, consuming omega-3’s in the form of fish oil lower depression scores.
Although there’s no standard dose, most experts agree that most adults should get at least 250–500 mg of combined EPA and DHA per day.
Given that a 3.5-ounce (100-gram) serving of salmon provides 2,260 mg of EPA and DHA, eating this fish a few times per week is a great way to get these fats into your diet.
Chocolate is rich in many mood-boosting compounds.
Its sugar may improve mood since it’s a quick source of fuel for your brain.
Furthermore, it may release a cascade of feel-good compounds, such as caffeine, theobromine, and N-acylethanolamine — a substance chemically similar to cannabinoids that has been linked to improved mood.
However, some experts debate whether chocolate contains enough of these compounds to trigger a psychological response.
Regardless, it’s high in health-promoting flavonoids, which have been shown to increase blood flow to your brain, reduce inflammation, and boost brain health, all of which may support mood regulation.
Finally, chocolate has a high hedonic rating, meaning that its pleasurable taste, texture, and smell may also promote good mood.
Because milk chocolate contains added ingredients like sugar and fat, it’s best to opt for dark chocolate — which is higher in flavonoids and lower in added sugar. You should still stick to 1–2 small squares (of 70% or more cocoa solids) at a time since it’s a high calorie food.
3. Fermented foods
Fermented foods, which include kimchi, yogurt, kefir, kombucha, and sauerkraut, may improve gut health and mood.
The fermentation process allows live bacteria to thrive in foods that are then able to convert sugars into alcohol and acids.
During this process, probiotics are created. These live microorganisms support the growth of healthy bacteria in your gut and may increase serotonin levels.
It’s important to note that not all fermented foods are significant sources of probiotics, such as in the case of beer, some breads, and wine, due to cooking and filtering.
Serotonin is a neurotransmitter that affects many facets of human behavior, such as mood, stress response, appetite, and sexual drive. Up to 90% of your body’s serotonin is produced by your gut microbiome, or the collection of healthy bacteria in your gut.
In addition, the gut microbiome plays a role in brain health. Research is beginning to show a connection between healthy gut bacteria and lower rates of depression.
Still, more research is needed to understand how probiotics may regulate mood.
Bananas may help turn a frown upside down.
They’re high in vitamin B6, which helps synthesize feel-good neurotransmitters like dopamine and serotonin.
Furthermore, one large banana (136 grams) provides 16 grams of sugar and 3.5 grams of fiber.
When paired with fiber, sugar is released slowly into your bloodstream, allowing for stable blood sugar levels and better mood control. Blood sugar levels that are too low may lead to irritability and mood swings.
Finally, this ubiquitous tropical fruit, especially when still showing green on the peel, is an excellent source of prebiotics, a type of fiber that helps feed healthy bacteria in your gut. A robust gut microbiome is associated with lower rates of mood disorders."
BY ANNE LORA SCAGLIUSI | May 25, 2021
"Jen Schwartz, mental health advocate and CEO of Motherhood Understood, first experienced perinatal depression a day after giving birth. “The biggest red flag was that I was having scary thoughts about wanting to get hurt or sick so I could go back to the hospital and not have to take care of my baby,” she says. “I had no interest in my son. I thought I had made a huge mistake becoming a mother and I couldn’t understand why I was failing at something that I believed was supposed to come naturally and that all other women were so good at.”
According to the World Health Organization, about 10 percent of pregnant women and 13 percent of new mothers will experience a mental disorder, the main one being depression. Without appropriate intervention, poor maternal mental health can have long term and adverse implications for not just these women, but their children and families, too. In most cases, however, women may not be aware of the help available or even that they might need it.
“Most of the time, they mistakenly think they are failing at parenting,” says Wendy Davis, executive director of Postpartum Support International (PSI). “They don't realize they are going through a temporary, treatable experience that many others have gone through.”
To find out more during World Mental Health Awareness Month, Vogue speaks to a range of global mental health experts and women who have experienced perinatal depression.
What is perinatal depression?
"Perinatal depression is the experience of depression that begins during pregnancy [prenatal depression] or after the baby is born [postpartum depression]. Most people have heard of perinatal depression, but what’s equally common for mums to experience is perinatal anxiety either separately, or with depression,” explains Canadian therapist Kate Borsato. Perinatal depression does not discriminate. “Some people are surprised when I tell them that I experienced postpartum anxiety, because of my job as a therapist for mums. But mental illness doesn’t really care who you are or what you know.”
While anyone can experience it, there are some known risk factors that increase women’s chances of developing mental health difficulties in the perinatal period. According to Australia-based social worker and founder of Mama Matters, Fiona Weaver, these include a “previous history of depression or anxiety, those who have limited support networks, have experienced birth or pregnancy trauma, infertility or who may be genetically predisposed to it.”
What are the signs and symptoms to look out for?
Symptoms differ for everyone, and may include feelings of anger, anxiety, fatigue, neglecting personal hygiene and health or surroundings, fear and/or guilt, lack of interest in the baby, change in appetite and sleep disturbance, difficulty concentrating/making decisions, loss of enjoyment or enthusiasm for anything, and possible thoughts of harming the baby or oneself.
Women can also develop postpartum obsessive-compulsive disorder, and postpartum psychosis. Copenhagen-based content creator Clara Aatoft was diagnosed with severe postpartum depression and psychosis months after becoming a new mum. “For the first three months, I didn't sleep at all. I was constantly aware of my daughter’s needs. She was later diagnosed with colic. When I gave up breastfeeding and switched to the bottle, my depression and psychosis went full-blown.” She continues, “I started thinking that my daughter was a robot that someone placed a chip inside at the hospital. I attempted suicide and ended up in the psychiatric ward. I’m very well now, still medicated on antidepressants. But my daughter and I have the best relationship.”
By Leah Campbell | Medically Reviewed by Alex Klein, PsyD | July 26, 2021
"School anxiety isn’t at all uncommon, but how can parents help?
Most parents can probably remember dealing with some level of school anxiety in their own childhoods. Maybe it was over a test you weren’t prepared to take. Or it could have been a disagreement with friends that left you feeling anxious about facing them in the halls.
Whatever the case may be, you may have had knots in your stomach at the thought of going to school.
Kids today experience the exact same thing, but at a level that is potentially higher than ever before.
After all, kids today have to deal with the impacts of social media seeping into their real-life social interactions. They’re facing ever-increasing academic expectations. They’re up against a rise in bullying.
And in a world that’s slowly reopening, yet still feeling the effects of the COVID-19 pandemic, many may also be experiencing a loss of social skills and anxiety around a return to school after over a year of online learning.
It’s no wonder that the estimated prevalence of anxiety among children ages 6 to 17 has increased over time — from about 5.5% in 2003 to 7.1% in 2016.
Plus, evidence suggests that children and young adults experienced an increase in anxiety symptoms during the COVID-19 pandemic.
According to the Centers for Disease Control (CDC), 7.1% of kids between the ages of 3 and 17 have been diagnosed with anxiety. For 2% to 5% of kids, that translates into anxiety-based school refusal — one potential result of unaddressed school anxiety.
In other words: School anxiety isn’t at all uncommon. But how can parents of kids with school anxiety help?
What is school anxiety, exactly?
There are quite a few types of anxiety that children may experience, many of which may translate into school anxiety. These include:
For preschoolers, it may have more to do with separation anxiety and a fear of being away from mom, dad, or other caregivers. This may result in tantrums at school drop-off and trouble relaxing throughout the day.
By elementary school, school anxiety could be related to any of the above types of anxiety.
A student this age may not yet have developed age-appropriate social skills and may have anxiety about school as a result, or they may spend excessive time worrying about academic expectations — to the extent of not wanting to go.
Middle schoolers are beginning to develop a social hierarchy that can result in an increase in bullying and various friendship turmoil, all of which can contribute to school anxiety.
And by high school, students may be juggling problems in their home lives and within their friendships and relationships, alongside mounting responsibilities like holding down a job and trying to achieve good grades for college.
At all these ages, school anxiety may result in school avoidance and refusal.
Signs of anxiety about school
According to the children’s mental health advocacy group Child Mind Institute, school anxiety can manifest in a lot of ways. Parents and teachers may notice their students are:
"Over 1 billion women around the world will have experienced perimenopause by 2025. But a culture that has spent years dismissing the process might explain why we don’t know more about it.
By: Jessica Grose | April 29, 2021
"Angie McKaig calls it “peri brain” out loud, in meetings. That’s when the 49-year-old has moments of perimenopause-related brain fog so intense that she will forget the point she is trying to make in the middle of a sentence. Sometimes it will happen when she’s presenting to her colleagues in digital marketing at Canada’s largest bank in Toronto. But it can happen anywhere — she has forgotten her own address. Twice.
Ms. McKaig’s symptoms were a rude surprise when she first started experiencing them in 2018, right around when her mother died. She had an irregular period, hot flashes, insomnia and massive hair loss along with memory issues she describes as “like somebody had taken my brain and done the Etch A Sketch thing,” which is to say, shaken it until it was blank.
She thought she might have early-onset Alzheimer’s, or that these changes were a physical response to her grief, until her therapist told her that her symptoms were typical signs of perimenopause, which is defined as the final years of a woman’s reproductive life leading up to the cessation of her period, or menopause. It usually begins in a woman’s 40s, and is marked by fluctuating hormones and a raft of mental and physical symptoms that are “sufficiently bothersome” to send almost 90 percent of women to their doctors for advice about how to cope.
Ms. McKaig is aggressively transparent about her “peri brain” at work, because she “realized how few people actually talk about this, and how little information we are given. So I have tried to normalize it,” she said.
An oft-cited statistic from the North American Menopause Society is that by 2025, more than 1 billion women around the world will be post-menopausal. The scientific study of perimenopause has been going on for decades, and the cultural discussion of this mind and body shift has reached something of a new fever pitch, with several books on the subject coming out this spring and a gaggle of “femtech” companies vowing to disrupt perimenopause.
If the experience of perimenopause is this universal, why did almost every single layperson interviewed for this article say something along the lines of: No one told me it would be like this?
“You’re hearing what I’m hearing, ‘Nobody ever told me this, my mother never told me this,’ and I had the same experiences many years ago with my mother,” said Dr. Lila Nachtigall, a professor of obstetrics and gynecology at N.Y.U. Grossman School of Medicine who has been treating perimenopausal women for 50 years, and is an adviser to Elektra Health, a telemedicine start-up.
Dr. Nachtigall said her mother had the worst hot flashes, and even though they were living in the same house when her mother was experiencing perimenopausal symptoms, they never discussed it. “That was part of the taboo. You were supposed to suffer in silence.”
The shroud of secrecy around women’s intimate bodily functions is among the many reasons experts cite for the lack of public knowledge about women’s health in midlife. But looking at the medical and cultural understanding of perimenopause through history reveals how this rite of passage, sometimes compared to a second puberty, has been overlooked and under discussed.
From ‘Women’s Hell’ to ‘Age of Renewal’
Though the ancient Greeks and Romans knew a woman’s fertility ended in midlife, there are few references to menopause in their texts, according to Susan Mattern, a professor of history at the University of Georgia, in her book “The Slow Moon Climbs: The Science, History, and Meaning of Menopause.”
The term “menopause” wasn’t used until around 1820, when it was coined by Charles de Gardanne, a French physician. Before then, it was colloquially referred to as “women’s hell,” “green old age” and “death of sex,” Dr. Mattern notes. Dr. de Gardanne cited 50 menopause-related conditions that sound somewhat absurd to modern ears, including “epilepsy, nymphomania, gout, hysterical fits and cancer.”
By: Centers for Disease Control and Prevention | April 19, 2021
"Mental health of children and parents —a strong connection
The mental health of children is connected to their parents’ mental health. A recent study found that 1 in 14 children has a caregiver with poor mental health. Fathers and mothers—and other caregivers who have the role of parent—need support, which, in turn, can help them support their children’s mental health. CDC works to make sure that parents get the support they need.
A child’s mental health is supported by their parents
Being mentally healthy during childhood includes reaching developmental and emotional milestones and learning healthy social skills and how to cope when there are problems. Mentally healthy children are more likely to have a positive quality of life and are more likely to function well at home, in school, and in their communities.
A child’s healthy development depends on their parents—and other caregivers who act in the role of parents—who serve as their first sources of support in becoming independent and leading healthy and successful lives.
The mental health of parents and children is connected in multiple ways. Parents who have their own mental health challenges, such as coping with symptoms of depression or anxiety (fear or worry), may have more difficulty providing care for their child compared to parents who describe their mental health as good. Caring for children can create challenges for parents, particularly if they lack resources and support, which can have a negative effect on a parent’s mental health. Parents and children may also experience shared risks, such as inherited vulnerabilities, living in unsafe environments, and facing discrimination or deprivation.
Poor mental health in parents is related to poor mental and physical health in children
A recent study asked parents (or caregivers who had the role of parent) to report on their child’s mental and physical health as well as their own mental health. One in 14 children aged 0–17 years had a parent who reported poor mental health, and those children were more likely to have poor general health, to have a mental, emotional, or developmental disability, to have adverse childhood experiences such as exposure to violence or family disruptions including divorce, and to be living in poverty.
Fathers are important for children’s mental health
Fathers are important for promoting children’s mental health, although they are not as often included in research studies as mothers. The recent study looked at fathers and other male caregivers and found similar connections between their mental health and their child’s general and mental health as for mothers and other female caregivers.
Supporting parents’ mental health
Supporting parents, and caregivers who act in the role of parent, is a critical public health priority. CDC provides parents with information about child health and development, including positive parenting tips, information and support when parents have concerns about their child’s development, or help with challenging behavior. CDC supports a variety of programs and services that address adverse childhood experiences that affect children’s and parents’ mental health, including programs to prevent child maltreatment and programs that support maternal mental health during and after pregnancy. CDC also examines issues related to health equity and social determinants of health, including racism, that affect the emotional health of parents and children. More work is needed to understand how to address risks to parents’ mental health.
To help parents and other adults with mental health concerns in times of distress, CDC funded the web campaign How Right Now as a way to find resources and support. CDC is also funding the National Academies of Science, Engineering, and Medicine to develop an online resource for parents to learn skills to cope with emotions and behavior using evidence-based approaches to improving mental health, which will be released this summer."
By: Robin Westen
"My friend Emily has three amazingly well-behaved children. They put their toys away when she tells them to, go to bed without a fuss, and even settle their own disputes. I actually witnessed her 3-year-old son calmly ask for a truck back from a friend who had yanked it out of his hands.
Emily admits that her children have their moments—"They are kids, after all!"—but says that real discipline challenges are few and far between. "What's your secret?" I once asked, hoping she could impart some much-needed wisdom. "Threatening them with punishment? Giving them time-outs? Bribing them with Oreos?" Emily shook her head. "Nothing like that," she told me. "If I've done anything right, it's that I've made it clear from the get-go what I expect from them. Now, all I have to do is shoot them a look, and they know to discipline themselves."
It may sound too good to be true, but experts agree that Emily has the right idea about setting expectations for your kids. "When you make your expectations clear from the time your children are toddlers, they internalize those expectations and begin to expect the same thing from themselves," says Sharon K. Hall, Ph.D., author of Raising Kids in the 21st Century. In other words, since kids are naturally inclined to want to please their parents, they'll try to behave in the way that you've taught them to independent of parental involvement. In fact, experts say that kids as young as 18 months are empathetic and responsive to their parents' expectations.
Even better news: Teaching self-discipline to a young child isn't as daunting as it sounds. "If you focus on the essentials starting at around age 2, your child will catch on faster, resist less, and ultimately behave better," says Robert Brooks, Ph.D., coauthor of Raising a Self-Disciplined Child. These four essentials will help you raise a kid who can keep her own behavior in check.
Set Firm Rules—and Expect Respect
Kids who believe they can do anything they feel like doing, and get whatever they want, tend to be the ones who act out by whining or throwing a tantrum when their demands aren't met. "Children who understand that there are well-defined boundaries learn how to self-regulate and to respect limits," says Hal Runkel, family therapist and author of ScreamFree Parenting.
Build Problem-Solving Skills
One of the major reasons children behave badly is because they feel frustrated and powerless. "When you give children the tools they need to figure things out on their own, they will behave better because they'll be better equipped to take care of themselves and won't come screaming to you or act out every time they encounter a challenge," says Dr. Brooks.
By: Amy Morin, LCSW | Updated on September 13, 2019
"A well-mannered child will stand out in today's world for all the right reasons. Saying, "Please" and "thank you," and using good table manners will get your child noticed by teachers and other parents.
Teaching good manners can seem a little tricky, however. It can be hard to convince a child to follow basic manners when his peers at school might not be doing so.
Help your child master basic manners with these discipline strategies:
1. Praise Your Child’s Use of Manners
Praise your child whenever you catch him using good manners. For young children, this may mean saying, "Great job remembering to say 'thank you.'"
Praise older kids for putting their phone away when they're at the dinner table or for shaking hands when greeting a new person.
If you’ve got a younger child, provide praise right away. Say, “You did a nice job thanking Grandma for that gift.”
Don’t embarrass a teen by praising him in front of other people. Instead, have a private conversation about how you appreciate that he behaved politely toward guests at a family gathering or give him positive feedback on how he handled an interaction with a store clerk.
2. Model Polite Behavior
The best way to teach your child any new skill is to be a good role model. When your child sees you speaking politely to others and using your manners, he’ll pick up on that.
Send thank you notes, ask for things politely, and show appreciation when people are kind. Whether you're in line at the grocery store or you're calling your doctor's office, your kids are paying attention to your behavior.
And be careful about how you handle situations when you’re upset. If you’re angry with someone, do you tend to raise your voice? Do you use harsh words when you think someone has treated you unfairly? Your message about the importance of using manners won’t be heard if you don’t model how to behave politely and respectfully.
3. Role-Play Tricky Situations
Role-playing gives kids an opportunity to practice their skills. It can be a helpful strategy when you're entering into a new situation or when you're facing some complicated circumstances.
If your 5-year-old has invited friends to his birthday party, role-play how to use manners while opening presents. Help him practice how to thank people for his gift and how to respond if he opens a gift that he doesn’t particularly like.
Sit down with your child and say, “What would you do if…” and then see what he has to say. Pretend to be a friend or another adult and see how your child responds to specific situations. Then, provide feedback and help your child discover how to behave politely and respectfully in various scenarios.
4. Provide a Brief Explanation
Avoid lecturing or telling long-winded tales. Instead, simply state the reason why a specific behavior may not be appreciated.
If your child is chewing with his mouth open, say, "People don't want to see the food in your mouth when they're trying to eat." If you make a big deal about it, you may inadvertently encourage the behavior to continue.
But, if you can just state the reason in a calm and matter-of-fact manner, it can serve as a reminder for your child about why other people may not appreciate what he's doing."
By Ivana Kottasová, CNN | July 31, 2021
(CNN)-"The Delta variant of Covid-19 is dominating cases worldwide, and health officials in some countries are sounding alarm over its impact on pregnant women.
Several of England's top health officials issued a joint statement on Friday urging pregnant women to get vaccinated against the coronavirus. They pointed to new data showing that 98% of expectant mothers admitted to the hospital with Covid-19 in the country since May were unvaccinated.
The World Health Organization (WHO) has also previously said that infected, pregnant women face an increased risk of developing severe Covid-19 compared with non-pregnant women of a similar age.One concern is that risk might be even higher with the Delta strain, which has been shown to be more contagious and can cause more severe disease compared to the earlier variants of the virus.Here's what you need to know.
Is Delta more dangerous if you're pregnant?
The Delta variant is more contagious and can cause more severe disease for everyone, including pregnant women.The latest data gathered by the UK Obstetric Surveillance System (UKOSS) showed the number of pregnant women that are being admitted to hospital with Covid-19 is increasing in the UK due to the Delta strain.
"Compared to the original Covid virus the new variants (alpha and then delta) caused progressively more severe disease in pregnant women," Andrew Shennan, professor of obstetrics at King's College London, said in a statement to the UK's Science Media Centre. "This included need for ventilation, intensive care admission and pneumonia, more than 50% more likely to occur," he added.
The data collected by UKOSS show that around 33% of women in hospital with Covid-19 needed respiratory support and that 15% needed intensive care.
The UKOSS data only includes pregnant women. However, the group said that while the increase in hospitalizations was broadly in line with the current rise in Covid-19 hospital admissions in the UK's general population, the data highlights an increase among pregnant women needing care for acute symptoms.
What about risks to the baby?
Previous studies have shown that Covid-19 infection raises the risk of negative outcomes for both the mother and the baby. These risks include preeclampsia, infections, admission to hospital intensive care units and even death.
According to an April study published in JAMA Pediatrics that looked at over 2,000 pregnant women in 43 medical institutions across 18 countries, babies born to mothers infected with the coronavirus were also at a somewhat higher risk of preterm birth and low birth weight.
The new data collected by UKOSS showed that one in five women admitted to hospital with serious Covid-19 symptoms went on to give birth prematurely, and the likelihood of delivery by C-section doubled. One in five babies born to mothers with coronavirus symptoms were also admitted to neonatal units.
Is the vaccine safe for pregnant people?
Yes. Studies and real-world data have shown there are no specific safety concerns for pregnant people or their babies on taking a Covid-19 vaccine.
"Hundreds of thousands of pregnant women worldwide have been vaccinated, safely and effectively protecting themselves against Covid and dramatically reducing their risk of serious illness or harm to their baby," Gill Walton, the chief executive of the Royal College of Midwives in the UK, said in a statement on Friday.
The US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the Joint Committee on Vaccination and Immunization in the UK and Australia's Technical Advisory Group on Immunization all advise pregnant women to get a Covid-19 shot. The WHO says that pregnant women should get the vaccine in situations where the benefits of vaccination outweigh the potential risks -- such as if they are living in areas with high number of cases."