By Al Donato| 4/15/2020 6:48pm EDT "If you’re an exhausted parent at home right now, you have a friend in Elmo’s dad, Louie. In the latest pandemic programming from “Sesame Street,” the children’s series has released a PSA for parents starring the famous Muppet’s father.
In the PSA, Louie reveals that, like many kids cooped up at home, Elmo won’t leave his parents alone. “It is wonderful to spend so much time with our children, but it can also be a bit ...” the older Muppet pauses, before letting out the world’s most relatable sigh. “Overwhelming.”
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By Carmela K Baeza, MD, IBCLC| Art By Ken Tackett "Some dyads (mother-infant pair) start their breastfeeding relationship in harsh circumstances. Frequently, due to medicalized births and unfavorable hospital routines, there are so many interferences to initiate breastfeeding that by the time mother and baby arrive home they are already using bottles and formula – despite mother having desired to exclusively breastfeed.
These mothers often feel that they do not make enough milk and that their babies prefer the bottle. They will make comments like “my baby doesn't like my breast”, “I cannot make enough milk”, “the more bottles I give my baby, the less she likes me”, and so on. This can become the road into postpartum depression. Those mothers who are intent on breastfeeding will often look for support, and may find it in a midwife, a lactation consultant or a breastfeeding support group. These health care professionals or counselors may offer the mother to work on her milk production by expressing milk from her breasts (either with her hands or with a pump) and feeding that milk to the baby, as well as putting baby on the breast. And this is what we call triple breastfeeding. Imagine: mother puts baby at her breast. Baby suckles for an hour and a half, falling asleep frequently. Mother will tickle him, speak to him, encourage, often to little avail. After an hour and a half, mother will unlatch the baby (he never seems to come off on his own), put him in the crib, set up her breast pump and begin pumping, going for at least 15 minutes on each breast. Halfway through, the baby wakes up and cries – he´s hungry. But he was just on the breast for almost two hours! Mother turns off the pump (and so little milk has come out!) and feeds her baby a bottle of formula. She cries. She feels exhausted, useless, and unable to meet her baby´s needs. She has not left the house for days, because she is immersed in a never-ending cycle of breast-pumping-feeding." Facing parental burnout? Use the magic word. By Pooja Lakshmin|October 18, 2019 "While swapping horror stories of PTA wars, overscheduling and toddler meltdowns, parents these days will inevitably ask one another, “But, are you taking care of yourself?”
Self-care has become the panacea for an over-exhausted, workaholic American culture. And if there’s one job that spells constant fatigue, it’s being a parent. But how does self-care happen in a country where more than half of married couples with children have two parents working full time, and mothers are not only spending more time at work but also more time taking care of children? It doesn’t help that the images we’re sold of self-care include meditation apps and Peloton binges. For mothers in particular, with self-care just an app click or exercise class away, there is a haunting sense that if you feel burnt out, you must not be taking care of yourself. Cue more stress and guilt." By Penny Simkin| October 27, 2009 "Author/lecturer, doula, childbirth educator, Penny Simkin, PT, talks about pain in labor and the concept of "when pain becomes suffering."
By Penny Simkin| Oct 30, 2015 "Author and educator, Penny Simkin offers an introduction to the serious topic of traumatic childbirth including symptoms of PTSD and suggestions for facilitating postpartum recovery from a traumatic birth experience.
Traumatic childbirth occurs in as many as 25-34 percent of all births. Approximately one-third of those women may develop Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). For more information, visit pattch.org. Penny is one of the founders of PATTCh, Prevention and Treatment of Traumatic childbirth, whose vision is "a world where women, infants and families, experience optimal physical and mental health in pregnancy, childbirth, and the postpartum period." By Sara Petersen| February 12, 2020 at 11:30 AM EST "He only sleeps if he's being held," I told my pediatrician at my son's 2 week checkup. "Or," I paused, fearful of shame, "in the swing."
Without looking up from his doctor computer thing, my pediatrician immediately lectured me about safe sleep and SIDS. When I told him we had tried everything and nothing else worked and sleep deprivation had plunged me into postpartum depression after the birth of my two older kids, he lectured me about therapy. When I told him I was on Zoloft and in weekly communication with my therapist, he told me to hang in there. I left the office in tears, feeling unsupported, feeling as though I had no workable options, and mostly feeling as though I was somehow wrong, that I was a bad mother. To many mothers, my story is simply another drop in the bucket of ways our health-care system abandon mothers. Babies recieve at least six well-visits with their pediatricians in the first year of life. The mothers of those babies, whose bodies and emotional lives have been entirely upended, recieve one well-visit. I was lucky enough to turn to my postpartum doula after that demoralizing appointment, and together, we had a nuanced conversation on how to attend to my son's sleep safety while also prioritizing my own sleep needs so I could show up for my family and feel like myself. But far too many mothers are left unsupported and exhausted, desperate for sleep." How women find the strength to endure multiple pregnancy losses February 9, 2020| By Meghan Holohan "Soon after getting married, Jenn and Phil Tompkins learned they were expecting a baby. Tompkins had always dreamed of being a mother and wanted to start her family as soon as possible. At six weeks pregnant, she excitedly announced it on Facebook.
"It's not a fantastic thing to do on multiple levels because once you announce it, not everyone gets the un-announcement," Tompkins, 43, of Freeport, Pennsylvania, told TODAY Parents. When Tompkins went to her eight week ultrasound, she worried when the technician kept asking her questions. "She asked if we were sure on our date, which I thought was a weird question, and she turned the screen away and said she had to come back," Tompkins explained. The tech returned with the doctor and they shared the news. "The baby stopped developing and did not have a heartbeat," Tompkins said. "That day our world changed." The doctor advised the couple wait for Tompkins body to heal before trying again. Soon after, Tompkins got pregnant again and miscarried. A third time, Tompkins became pregnant and lost the baby. After her third miscarriage, her doctor recommended she visit a maternal-fetal specialist who could test the couple to try to understand why the miscarriage kept happening. Before they even tried any treatments, Tompkins became pregnanct again." The mother-son duo made up after the adorable incident By Kelli Bender| February 28, 2020 1:10PM "Its a familiar scene: a mom trying to do her best with a tired, whiny kid refusing to budge from their spot on the floor or a public place.
This time the tantrum didn't play out at a shopping mall, grocery store or playground; it was at the Pairi Daiza Zoo in Belgium. According to the Daily Mail, three-year old orangutan Berani didn't want to leave playtime when mom Sari came calling. when mom tried to move the little primate from his spot, the kid threw a bit of a tantrum. Instead of giving in, Sari, a skilled and doting mother, literally took matters into her own hands, grabbing Berani and dragging him to a different spot in the zoo exhibit. The relatable moment was captured by photographer Koen Hartkamp, who also witnessed the mother-son duo make up after the silly incident. "Just like all small children, Berani still has to listen to what mum says even though he's getting a bit more independent. ..and judging by the picture he didn't like it," the photographer told Daily Mail." By The Powerful Mind 6 Reasons Why Failue is Actually Good for You
"It can be difficult to get back up when it feels like life is constantly knocking us down. Blow after blow, we keep trying to trudge through our failed experiences to try and reach the moment of success. Each time we fall at a new venture, a new relationship, or a new career, it gets more and more difficult to keep going-at least with the same stamina and optimism as before. We start internalizing all these failures and it becomes a little voice at the back of our minds telling us we are a failure. Once this voice takes over, the threat of giving up and giving in becomes all too real. Contrary to that littel voice, failure is actually a good thing. Winston Churchill defines success as the ability of going from failure to failure without a loss of enthusiasm. There are many benefits to experiencing failure, even though you may not think so initially." Grieving patients are encouraged to see and hold their stillborn infacnts--and in some cases even bring them home. By Sarah Zhang February 12, 2020 Katie Marin/The Atlantic"AARHUS, Denmark-When Ane Petrea Ornstrand's daughter was stillborn at 37 weeks, she and her husband spent five days in the hospital grieving with their dead daughters body. They held her and cried. They took photos. They welcomed family and freinds and visitors. And then they brought her home for four more days, where she lay on ice packs that they changed every eight hours.
If you had asked Ornstrand before she herself went through this in 2018, she might have found it strange or even morbid. She's aware, still, of how it can sound. "Death is such a taboo," she says. "You have to hurry, get the dead out, and get them buried in order to move on. But that's not how things work." In those moments with her daughter, it felt like the most natural thing to see her, to hold her, and to take her home. The hospital allowed--even gently encouraged--her to do all that. This would have been unthinkable 30 or 40 years ago, when standard hospital practice was to take stillborn babies away soon after birth. "It was and have another and forget about it," says, Dorte Hvidtjorn, a midwife at Aarhus University Hospital. Since then, a revolution in thinking about stillbirth has swept throught hospitals, as the medical profession began to recognize the importance of the parent-child bond even in mourning. These changes have come to American hospitals, too." July 4, 2019 By Lana Hallowes "How awesome are these NICU nurses? They are going about their important tasks while babywearing the bubs they care for when their parents aren’t able to." Nurses ROCK"The photos, shared by Kangatraining Austrailia show the hardworking nurses in Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) in Germany doing what they do best-loving and caring for needy babies.
As any babywearing mama, or dad, will know, all babies love to be held close and carried, with the movement soothing them and often putting them to sleep." Photo: via Sarah DiGregorio"My daughter’s health needs changed the way I think about food, control and pleasure." By Sarah DiGregorio "If eating is about pleasure, at least for me, cooking is about control. Knowing how to make onions sizzle gently in oil and start to go limp, then transparent, then light brown, then sweet and dark. It’s a transformation that’s entirely predictable, a product of muscle and sense memory. If I pay attention in the kitchen, if I am careful, nothing goes wrong.
When I was pregnant, I worked at Food & Wine magazine. Editing recipes, the biggest part of my job at the time, is a meticulous and satisfying exercise in imagining all the mistakes that could be made in a kitchen and then trying to prevent them. It was 90 degrees out as my stomach started to swell, but in the office we were cooking and tasting crunchy escarole salads, potato gratin, roasts and gravy, butter cookies and layer cakes. Summer at a monthly cooking magazine is about Thanksgiving, and then the holidays. I liked to think of my daughter growing plump and happy and smart on everything I ate. Though I’d cut out alcohol, raw fish and cured meats, I ate everything else the test kitchen produced, imagining that this was the embryonic beginning of giving her a healthy, pleasurable relationship with food and her body. “Eating for two” is an irritating phrase, but I saw it as the first benefit of being alive that I could share with her. Despite my well-laid plans, it turned out the placenta was failing. My daughter was not, actually, living the fetal high life. My body was keeping all that good food for itself — the snow-white slice of coconut layer cake, the bitter sautéed winter greens. First she fell off her growth curve and then, a fetus slowly starving, her body ground to a halt. She was not safe inside me, so the doctors took her out nearly 12 weeks early, an emaciated, shivery bundle, a 1-pound 13-ounce creature of skin and bones." By: Kate Rope The Myths
The Facts
What This Means: That becoming a mother is a stressful event. In fact, pregnancy itself is actually considered a “stressor” in the medical literature. Struggle is going to be part of the process. It’s like labor and delivery. It is a tremendous physical and emotional undertaking to bring a person into the world. We accept that physical pain and other medical complications can be part and parcel of making and birthing a human being. Why do we think our brains would get away Scott-free? That doesn’t make sense. By David Gelles, NY Times "Meditation is a simple practice available to all, which can reduce stress, increase calmness and clarity and promote happiness. Learning how to meditate is straightforward, and the benefits can come quickly. Here, we offer basic tips to get you started on a path toward greater equanimity, acceptance and joy. Take a deep breath, and get ready to relax."
Click below for a list of guided meditation and mindfulness exercises. By JESSICA ZUCKER and RYAN ALEXANDER-TANNER, New York Times Many times holding rigid or high expectations of pregnancy, delivery, or the postpartum period can lead to symptoms of distress. Click below to see more illustrations on how there is no "wrong or right" way to having a baby.
By: Carolyn Robertson Here is an account of what it's like to experience Postpartum Anxiety.
By: Stephanie M. Bucklin "When Karen Papajohn first came home from the hospital with her infant son, AJ, she felt numb. “I kept wondering why I didn’t feel the same ‘joy’ and ‘happiness’ of welcoming this precious gift into my life as my husband did,” she wrote in a survivor story on Jenny’s Light, a perinatal issues website. Amongst other things, Papajohn was sleep-deprived, overwhelmed, and exhausted.
But she wasn’t depressed—instead, Papajohn was suffering from postpartum depression, a condition that is distinct from major depressive disorder. While the many of the symptoms are similar (sad mood, restlessness, poor concentration), PPD isn’t merely an extension of depression, as a recent review published in Trends in Neurosciences confirms. It involves distinct changes to the brain, which suggest that PPD is a separate biological disease, and may even require distinct treatment..." By: Dr. Andrea Chisholm "Having a baby is one of the happiest times in life, but it can also be one of the saddest.
For most new mothers, the first several days after having a baby is an emotional roller coaster ride. Thrilling moments of happiness and joy are abruptly interrupted by a plunge into moments of depressive symptoms including weeping, anxiety, anger, and sadness. These “baby blues” usually peak in the first two to five days after delivery, and in most women, go away as quickly as they came. Except sometimes they don’t go away...." By Nev Schulman and Laura Perlongo Here is a short video that aims at bringing more awareness to postpartum care.
Having a child can be a great joy but it is also a big adjustment. The transition to parenthood can impact your mood, functioning and relationships with others, including your partner. Because of the changes in your mood, it can even feel difficult to bond with your child. These changes in mood and functioning can feel surprising and confusing for many women and their partners.
While some mood changes are a normal part of the hormonal, physical and emotional adjustments after pregnancy and childbirth, if it is lasting more than a couple of weeks, or these feelings come back anytime in the first year after delivery for more than two weeks, you should seek help and support right away. Below are a few great resources that can help you begin learning more about how to address the concerns you may have about pregnancy and postpartum mental health. Pregnancy and Postpartum Resources and Websites:
Additionally, the book titled, "This Isn't What I was Expected: Overcoming Postpartum Depression" by Karen R. Kleinman, M.S.W. and Valerie D. Raskin M.D. is a great reference on prenatal and postpartum depression and anxiety disorders. |
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