‘It Gets Better’ and 6 Other Harmful Remarks New Moms Often Hear

Let's change what we say to new mothers

Well-meaning friends and relatives often have a lot to say after a new baby is born, but it’s best to take these phrases out of the conversation.

‘It gets better.’

What you can say instead:

“It’s okay to be frustrated. You are not alone.”

‘Enjoy every minute. It goes by so fast.’

What you can say instead:

“Parenting is tough, but you’ve got this.”

‘I miss that age. This is the best part.’

What you can say instead:

“I miss that age, but I sure don’t miss the crying (or fussiness or sleeplessness). It’s a lot. Is there anything I can do to help?”

‘You shouldn’t nurse/coddle/rock your baby to sleep.’

What you can say instead:

“Do what you’ve got to do.”

‘My baby was (or wasn’t… insert adjective).’

What you can say instead:

“That must be tough. Is there anything I can help you with?”

‘Make sure you keep your baby on a schedule.’

What you can say instead:

“Babies are tricky. Every time you think you get ahead of them their routine changes or a sleep regression hits. Try to be patient, you’re doing great.”

‘Are they a good baby?’

What you can say instead:

“It’s okay to love your new life and be frustrated by it at the same time. Hang in there!”

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