Build your confidence and self-esteem

Women often initiate therapy to address their lack of confidence. A person's confidence can vary depending on the situation or context, but having poor confidence can lead to symptoms of depression or anxiety.

Megan Dalla-Camina discusses how someone can rebuild their confidence after a hardship.

It’s not about “just getting over it”. Remember, you want to build your confidence and self-esteem.

When confidence has been shaken, there’s often a temptation to rush the process. You might tell yourself to “Move on,” “Fake it till you make it,” or “Just be more positive”. While those ideas can sound motivating, they rarely address the deeper impact of what you’ve been through. Confidence is tied to trust: trust in yourself, in others, and in the environment around you. When something undermines that trust, it needs time, care, and repair. Skipping this step can lead to a shaky foundation where confidence appears on the surface but still feels fragile underneath.

You have to acknowledge the loss

Rebuilding starts with recognizing what’s changed. That might mean naming what happened and the impact it had on you. Maybe a leader dismissed your ideas in front of a room full of people. Maybe you were excluded from opportunities you were qualified for. Maybe you worked in a culture where speaking up came with consequences. These experiences can leave a mark. Ignoring them doesn’t make them go away; it just buries them deeper. Being honest about how your confidence was knocked down is the first step to reclaiming it.

Your inner critic might get louder

When confidence is low, self-doubt often moves in to fill the space. You might find yourself replaying mistakes, comparing yourself to others, or assuming the worst about how you’re perceived. It’s normal for your inner critic to get louder in these moments. But it’s also important to remember that the voice of your inner critic isn’t the truth. It’s a collection of fears, old conditioning, and protective strategies. Part of rebuilding confidence is learning to challenge those thoughts and create space for a kinder, more accurate perspective.

Small wins matter more than you think

When your confidence has taken a hit, it’s tempting to look for the big, decisive moment that will “fix” it. But confidence rarely returns in one dramatic leap. It’s rebuilt through small, consistent wins. This might mean speaking up in one meeting. Or sending a message to someone you’ve been nervous to approach. Or completing a project you’ve been avoiding. Each of these moments reinforces the idea that you can trust yourself to take action, even if it feels uncomfortable.

Over time, these small wins stack up. They create the quiet momentum that makes bigger steps feel possible.

You need people who see you clearly

It’s hard to rebuild confidence in isolation. You need safe, supportive relationships in which you can be honest about what you’re feeling and where others can reflect back your strengths. Sometimes these people are colleagues. Sometimes they’re mentors, coaches, or trusted friends. What matters is that they see the real you, not just the version that’s been diminished by recent experiences.

Their belief in you can act as a bridge until you’re able to fully believe in yourself again.

Rest is part of the work

When you’ve been in an environment that drains your confidence, your nervous system needs time to recover. That means rest isn’t something you do after you’ve rebuilt your confidence; it’s part of how you rebuild it.Rest creates the mental and emotional space to reflect, integrate, and reconnect with yourself. It’s not a luxury. It’s a foundation. Without it, you’re more likely to slip back into the patterns that undermined your confidence in the first place.

Rebuilding confidence is an act of self-respect

Losing confidence doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means you’ve been through something that had an impact, and you’re choosing to respond with care instead of denial. The process may be slower than you’d like, and it may not look like it used to. But the confidence you rebuild after a setback is often deeper, stronger, and more grounded than before.Because this time, it’s not based on proving yourself to others. It’s based on knowing yourself and trusting that you belong, exactly as you are.

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If you're a woman looking to build your confidence and self-esteem, contact Dr. Sandra Rodriguez-Siuts. She is a licensed psychologist and specializes in supporting women with their mental health concerns. Contact Dr. Sandra Rodriguez-Siuts to get started with either in-person or online therapy today. She is located in Scottsdale, Arizona, but is licensed to practice online therapy in 43 states. Visit her 'Get Started' page for more information to begin addressing your concerns and getting support today!