How to Teach Kids Manners

The family table a good place to practice polite manners

By: Amy Morin, LCSW

Instilling etiquette in your children is a challenging but worthwhile effort. You might think well-mannered kids are born rather than raised or that your kids will naturally pick up on the way to act from watching those around them. However, while some kids do take to manners more naturally, it's vital to teach and reinforce these important skills to your children.

A well-mannered child will stand out for all the right reasons. Saying "please" and "thank you," being respectful and courteous, and using good table manners will get your child noticed by teachers and other parents—and build their self-confidence, independence, and self-esteem.

Teaching good manners can be a little tricky, however. It can be hard to convince a child to follow basic etiquette when their peers at school or online might not be doing so. The ideal approach combines direct instruction, modeling the behaviors you want to see, and reinforcing your expectations with praise and consequences, as needed, says Siggie Cohen, PhD, a child and family therapist in Los Angeles, Calif.

Tips for Teaching Kids Manners

• Provide Explicit Instruction

• Keep Expectations Age-Appropriate

• Be a Role Model

• Use Praise

• Practice New Situations

What to Do When Your Child Doesn't Use Their Manners

• Offer Prompts

• Use Consequences
  

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