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10 Essential Tips for Long-Term Love 


happy couple sitting next to each other
Fostering your love after having kids is vital to a healthy relationship

By Dr. Roni Beth Tower, ABPP


"A romantic relationship can be easily recognized by its intense and sometimes irrational driving force of emotion. Passion fuels our behavior, guides or distorts thoughts, changes physical and chemical functioning, and alters lives. 


The romance might begin with a “coup de foudre," or the lightning bolt that we think of as love at first sight. The attraction can seem to have no earthly reason or explanation, and may appear to emanate from another planet, lifetime, or dimension. It could be the sort of experience that compels someone to abruptly stand up in the middle of a meeting and follow an invisible beam pointing to a person standing across a room.

Romantic love can also arise more slowly, building on a firm foundation of friendship. A base of shared history allows reason to remain in control for at least an initial critical period. It doesn't matter how you found your perfect partner; you typically know when he or she has arrived—and the rest is in the details. 


But you must tend to these details to make your relationship flourish. These 10 strategies will help you nourish and sustain a close, romantic relationship."


  1. Appreciate surprises.

  2. Accept potentially annoying traits or habits.

  3. Understand that passion has cycles.

  4. Broaden the knowing and share your secret fears.

  5. Confront the future.

  6. Practice tenderness and caring.

  7. Recognize the role of physical contact.

  8. Accept jealousy and learn to work with it.

  9. Learn each other’s language.

  10. Do not make assumptions.



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