Mom for the Holidays

By Lauren Hale | December 15, 2015

"Jingle bells, jingle bells, mama had a baby. Now she’s sad but she must look glad, oh my will she ever survive?
Oh, the holidays. The holidays when we are supposed to be so happy, festive, and joyous even when we do not feel up to the task at hand. Sound familiar, my fellow Perinatal Mental Health mamas? I don’t know about you, but I dreaded the holidays when I was in the thick of it. Dreaded them.

When we are in the midst of a battle for our mental health, for our sanity, it isn’t simple to choose peace. We cannot choose peace any more than someone who has cancer can choose to be cancer free. We wait and hope for the best, hope for a light at the end of the tunnel. Once we find our light, however, we carry it with us through our lives and it makes us a stronger person. It changes us deep down.

Hard days make me grateful for my experience with Postpartum Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Grateful that despite the horrid darkness into which I sank, I rose above it with the help of others. I am grateful for the silence and the magic of the world around me and being able to choose to see the beauty instead of ruminating on the what ifs of chaos.
Speaking of chaos, as we head into the holiday season, many are struggling to keep anxiety and other issues at bay due to the increased social expectations. Above all else, please remember to take care of yourselves.
Here are a few tips to help keep your holidays (and you) sane.
​
Holiday survival tips for moms with perinatal mood and anxiety disorders

• Know your boundaries. Defend them. If you are visiting others, scope out the location when you first arrive for a quiet corner to which you can escape if that chest-tightening ball swells suddenly in your chest and throat. (Bathrooms are fabulous for this as no one questions it!) Have a friend you trust on standby to text if things start to get intense. Or, heck, use an emergency phone call to rush out of there.
• Remember to breathe. Deeply. Breath is essential. It does far more than keep us alive. Deep breathing helps us soothe anxiety.
• Talk with your loved ones, particularly your partner or someone you are close to; develop an exit strategy if things get too overwhelming.
• Do not be afraid to say no to a gathering if you know it will be too much for you. See the first tip—know your boundaries.
• Do not answer questions you do not want to. Remember that you are not required to give an intimate description of how you are doing unless you are up to it. Change the subject. Or better yet, smile and walk away. Maybe to that quiet corner."

Finish Reading Holiday Survival Tips for Moms with Perinatal Mood and Anxiety Disorders