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3 Ways to Tell Where Love Ends and Toxicity Starts


Woman waiting for train


By Mark Travers Ph.D.


To love someone is to accept them fully, blemishes and all. We all know this definition of love. Over the years, certain behaviors, rituals, and symbols have become synonymous with this all-encompassing notion of an eternal bond, such as the institution of marriage.


However, such a binary and rigid view of love can cause us to ignore its many gray areas. We can start indulging in behavior that is to our detriment and allow for behavior that is obviously problematic.


Mental-health research has proven time and again that love can look and feel different from the way it appears in books, movies, and music. Here are three common mistakes people make when they view their intimate relationships too rigidly.


  1. You’re too quick to make sacrifices for your partner.

  2. You’re too lenient in letting things go.

  3. Your relationship is built around utility.



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