To the mama who had a baby during the pandemic

By Diane Spalding

"I am a midwife, and that means two things:

1. I am a total birth nerd
2. I want to hug every new mom I see.

But we are in a pandemic, which means that the latter is impossible—and this makes me impossibly sad. You deserve hugs, love, recognition and so much more. So I will settle for the next best thing, which is to write you a little love letter.

Darling new mama. Here are seven things you need to know:

1. This is hard
Welcome to the mom club. It's a really awesome club, but there is a sad underlying truth you need to be aware of: Moms are notoriously hard on ourselves (often for things that we have no control over). Like, say, a pandemic.

So many new mothers are wrought with guilt that they are doing this "wrong." Mama, there is no wrong here. Not even close. This is just hard. And it's okay to admit that. Saying that this is hard or disappointing does not diminish anything about your quality as a mother. This IS hard. And it's okay to say as much.
But that brings me to my next point...

2. You can do hard things

Motherly's co-founder and CEO, Jill Koziol, often says, "This is hard, but we can do hard things." I'm not sure it has ever rung more true than right now.

You have a long history of doing (and rocking) hard things. Perhaps getting pregnant was hard. Perhaps you had a hard pregnancy. Then a baby came out of your body—um, hello! Or perhaps you became a mama through adoption, surrogacy or with a gestational carrier—that can be super hard, too.
The point is, you have been met with challenges before, and you have overcome them. Yes, this is tough. But mama, so are you.

3. People are on your side

On #TeamMotherly, we often remind each other of the Mr. Rogers quote that says, "When I was a boy, and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, 'Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.' To this day, especially in times of disaster, I remember my mother's words and I am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers—so many caring people in this world."
Maybe it feels impossibly scary to be bringing a baby into the world, but there are so many helpers right now.
Public health officials are figuring out policies to keep people safe.
Scientists and doctors are researching treatments and vaccines.
Activists and policy-makers are working to make the world a more just place for everyone.
Remember that even when it feels helpless, people are working around the clock to make things better for you and your sweet baby."

Finish reading the letter: to the mama who had a baby during the pandemic